Over the past couple of months I’ve experienced what feels like a random avalanche of physical health issues. From frequent colds, a 9 day period, dizziness, fatigue and to top it off, and having a small operation to remove a cyst; resulting in having to recover from surgery during my first couple of weeks back in Peru.
First of all, is anything really “random”? I would say no. Over the past year I’ve been sitting in the front seat of an emotional rollercoaster. Even though I know how connected emotional and physical health are, I wasn’t expecting all of this to manifest in the span of a couple months.
In a way, I feel like my body has betrayed me; like all of sudden there’s this distrust between us.
I think this feeling is worse than the physical symptoms. It creates an emotional sense of despair. Patiently waiting for time to pass, supplements to work and scars to heal is draining.
Here are 3 things I’m doing to rebuild trust with my body and health
Seeking support
First it was doctor’s appointments, bloodwork, and an ultrasound. This was followed by bringing extra attention to nourishment with food, supplements, sleep, and baths (before coming back to the desert of Lobitos of course). Now, it looks like receiving acupuncture, holistic medicine, and energy work.
Increasing mind body communication
For me, this has involved slowing down and listening to what my body needs. It’s hard! Part of my body craves being active, moving, and of course surfing. At the same time, physically it’s not ready and that’s a hard thing to accept. As I start to increase my level of physical activity I’m hyper aware of how my body feels – and how much rest I need afterwards, and I try to respect that.
Honoring without judgment
Working to quiet the inner critic is no joke. I’m trying not to judge myself for napping or not being as productive with my work, but intrusive thoughts pop by without an invitation. I’m trying not to criticize my body as I can feel it slowly changing shape, losing muscle tone, softening. And as I write this a thought occurs – maybe that’s exactly what I need right now: to cultivate more softness. What I have found comforting is having a sense of calm. Listening to music, lighting candles and palo santo, writing in my journal and voice messages with close friends.
I’ve always valued health because to me it’s the foundation for almost everything else. To feel like I’ve lost some control over that is a hard thing to accept. It’s been a very good reminder of how important and influential emotional health is and it’s helped shine a light on what I need to spend more energy taking care of.