Surfing is not my escape. It’s not a place where nothing else matters. Actually, it’s the place where everything matters. The idea that the ocean and surfing washes away our problems is inherently problematic, at least it is for me.
I didn’t grow up surfing or swimming in the ocean. Even though I could swim from an early age my mom made me wear a lifejacket when I would swim in the lake on our family camping trips.
As I started taking surf classes consistently at age 26 – I had to think about everything.
Where to look
Where to place my feet.
How to shift my weight on the board.
When to paddle.
When to stand up.
Where to put my hands and feet on the duck dive.
& more.
Nothing came ‘natural’ to me.
Inevitably, some aspects of surfing do become automatic – with time in the water and on the same board certain things start to become muscle memory. It may feel like an escape because we have to be so focused on what’s in front of us. Surfing does bring us sharply into the present moment.
However, surfing is a time where everything else in life is brought to the surface, but it doesn’t always present like that. For example, at face value, it can seem like someone is overly frustrated by not catching waves, falling or being dropped in on. Yes, those things are annoying but our reaction to them is usually a sign of something else going on in our lives either physically, emotionally or mentally.
Physical
If we’re surfing with an injury or pain in the body, that’s going to affect: our confidence, how we perform on the wave, and how we’re going to react if someone does something we deem to be unsafe. The food we eat affects muscle repair and energy. Sleep will make a difference to how ready we feel. If you’re a woman, you’re going to surf differently throughout your cycle.
Being aware of how we feel in our bodies can help us set up realistic expectations for our surf session.
Emotional
Our emotional responses to stress and trauma manifest in the body. Sometimes there’s an overall weakness or achy feeling in certain areas of our bodies. We may feel underwhelmed by surfing, even when we’re catching waves. These things may feel subtle, and we may not even recognize them as the source of why our surf game isn’t on point. We may feel an increased sense of frustration over missing waves, interactions with other surfers or other random inconveniences.
The two main things to be aware of here are how your emotions affect your interpretation of the session, and how they manifest in the body.
Mental
When the mind takes over it can be a major downer. Overthinking every wave, every drop, the crowd, basically translates to surfing with a low sense of confidence. Feeling overwhelmed is common, and we need to ask ourselves why it’s happening. Sometimes it can be surf specific, especially if the conditions are strong or outside of our comfort zone. However, sometimes we feel a lack of confidence that stems from another area of our lives, and we carry that weight with us in the water. For example, when a set comes, our familiar internal dialogue starts up again, and in a split second we convince ourselves we can’t make that wave.
The good thing is, we can work with our minds to create healthier and more empowering thought patterns.
What to do about it
If surfing gives you ‘all the feels’ and it’s not an escape; in other words if surfing brings a hyper-presence to all of these, should you do something about it?
Of course! The first thing I’d say is – be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up has never gotten you anywhere.
This is why surfing is a fantastic tool for personal development: it shines a light on parts of life that need attention or are out of balance. Surfing can also be the tool that helps us through those difficult moments.
Give yourself grace in the moments you feel like you ‘could be surfing better.’ Take a step back and look at the big picture. Consider the whole story, not just the moment you’re in. I know we’re often told to do the opposite and to just be in the moment. However, when surfing feels hard, take a step back. Consider the circumstances under which you’re surfing – physically, emotionally, and mentally. Take into account the conditions of the ocean, your level and the totality of your experience surfing.
Just know that if surfing sometimes makes you feel all the things, you’re not alone. Surfing is not my escape, it forces me to face the things I choose not to see. It reminds me that I’m human. It makes me feel like I’m living, not simply existing.
If this speaks to you I’d love to hear about your experience in water and what it brings up for you! Feel free to leave a comment, or DM me on Instagram.
We also focus on these themes during the Reconnect Retreats.